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Shit different from the past
Holding on to memories, making sure they last
I should of listened when they said life goes fast
Time wasted, scrambling trying to replace it
Inside be my favorite
The world keep changing
I can’t get used to it
More pain, more graves by the day
Looking up, swear the clouds say my name
Maybe I should go
I got my hands filled
Tears spilled
I forgot how the breeze feel
Bedridden, not living
I been having inner visions
I wonder if it’s worth it
Am I cursed or some shit
I been hurt for a bit
Still learned to forgive
Like the leaves in the wind I drift
But I persist
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Early mornings, and late nights
Restless eyes, sleep deprived
you can tell, find my way through this hell
Dust myself when I fell
Took a while, but I’m out of my shell
Stress ain’t doing me well
You can see the tired on my face
Hope everything I go through goes away
Face first looking down to the ground
Wanted to decay
Found purpose, learned I had to stay
Getting through the days
Looking up see the sky is grey
But I still shine like the sun rays
Waking up dumb late
Had to put my pride aside
Dealing with my ego
Making up for the times I was evil
I’m still flawed
Take a step back and pause
Looking at the man I am in awe
I used to be fraud, I was crying to god
But I’m doing better
Finding pleasure in my efforts
Dealing with some pressure
But I’m clever
In my soul lies treasure
My confidence light like a feather
Difficult to measure
Standing in the rain, but I handle the weather
With ease
Stay calm like the trees
Moving with the breeze
Keys open doors but this shit still locked
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3. |
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Thinking bout things that I done
Thinking bout times I had to run
My feet bleed, heart heavy from some situations
You could tell my story just by looking in my face
Had to knuckle up, get into the ring
Had to rumble some, memories do sting
Remember one night, had a knife touch my rib
All the times I heard arguments in the crib
I understand better than I did before
Looking back, all the tears that hit the floor represents growth
Not the same kid anymore
The same man, maneuvering with a different plan
More pressure that I carry with my hands
Had to bury my mistakes deep in the sand
Had to stop saying that I can’t
Cause I could, and I will
More pain, I reveal
Some blood, gets spilled
My issues, I conceal
My problems, too real
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4. |
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Gotta use my head, keep my mind straight
A young nigga been going on a rampage
Pour my heart out on this damn page
This shit all I got for real
I seen shit that would make the common man squeal
Not bragging, I’m just letting you know
I had to steal, me and my folks was low on dough
All I ever did in life was play my role
I understand, I’m probably not the star of the show
I’m cool with that, as long as I get my cut of the gold
Hope the lord bless my soul
Many forks in the road
But I can’t turn back
Deep in this shit til I’m lying flat
Use to lie my ass off
It took steps to be honest
Had to walk away from conflict
Still healing from some trauma
Patch it up, here comes more problems
Just another chapter in the saga
I’m not a rapper, nigga I’m a author
Giving you tales from the dark side, my eyes were intertwined with many horrors
I just want to prosper
I just want to live proper
Swear my life is a movie
Swear my life is a cinema
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5. |
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My adolescence been filled with lessons
Looking in the mirror all I see is blessings
Opportunity knocking, but I’m second guessing
I know my pencil is a weapon
My feet in hell, but my head in heaven
I been messing up my essence
Instead of working I’m resting
Even on cold nights I’m sweating
I been betting on myself
I just need you to know the pain I felt
I just want to live well
I guess time will tell
I be walking in snow
Cold to the bone
Papa was a rolling stone
Mama turned the dirt into a cozy home
Still I roam alone on this lonely road
Who really there for me when I need it
Who finna talk for me when I’m speechless
Want money but there’s no time to be greedy
They said the lord coming I could see it
I could tell you fake
By how you yell at ya fam
But to the other side you silent as hell
Well, I don’t trust you
So you can’t come around to the land that I dwell
And girl, I love you I just want a little time to myself
I don’t even want the fame, I want some land on the hills
Cause niggas petty, they just want some thrills
And I don’t want confetti when it’s heavy
And I’m clearing the fields
The broke the levy’s and expected to chill, for real
That’s fucking dead, imma living man
I got work to do, we hurting and I feel it bad
But it’s a purpose that ain’t worthless so I’m giving thanks
On this road you know move with grace, through the pain
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6. |
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I be taking my time, got a lot to prove
I be trying find peace, that’s hard to do
My niggas all in the streets, that shit not the move
Shawty hitting my line, I’m not in the mood
I don’t mean to be rude, just need a bit of solitude
As I find my groove
Moving at my own accord, saying fuck the rules
I can’t afford to be a fool
In my younger years I was around demons and ghouls
Let me tell you what the trauma did
It put a lid on the love I give
Teary eyelids
Making up the time I lost as a kid
Making my mark, without the skids
Bout time I get rid of the baggage
In my state of mind, I’m living lavish
And everything I want imma have
Just a prodigy causing havoc
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7. |
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I done found myself
Yea it took a while
I was lost in the jungle, yea the fucking wild
I was told to be humble since a fucking child
But I got to man up now
Yea I stand up proud
My feet planted on the ground
no more looking down
Im only focused on ahead
Use to cry in the bed
Oh all the lies that I said
Them rough times I forget
All I ever did was worry
Had to grow in a hurry
Yea the past really blurry
Quiet boy, no one heard me
All life did was hurt me
It’s gonna get better surely
Every winter was a flurry
Every summer was real dirty
Aye look at me now
No more frowns
Big smile on my face
Everything gonna be ok
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KUMMBA is for the 6th day of Kwanzaa, meaning creativity. This year has been the most creative year of my life. Much appreciation to everyone that has connected with you and helped make this year be a very prosperous one. Hope you all enjoy my final offering to 2020.
released December 31, 2020
Track 1 mixed/mastered by Jökull Logi
Track 2 & 5 mixed/mastered by pis.i
Track 3,4,6 mixed/mastered by Lord Glacier
Track 7 mixed/mastered by JoeJBeats
